Coalition of Alternate Living Methods

This is an authorised radio broadcast of the CALM network. Stay calm

The calm is here to help, you have nothing to worry about

We're working to put out the fires and get everything back to normal

If there is anything you need, be sure to look for the parachutes

That we have so graciously provided. They are the ticket to your wildest dreams

Everyone wants the same thing in life: to be successful, to fit in and live in a worry free world

If you feel like the world outside is too much, calm down

There is medicine in the boxes connected to the parachutes, take as much as you want

We'll send more. Welcome to the new tomorrow

Brought to you by the Coalition of Alternate Living Methods