The Barry Williams Show

Let's go

One man at the window

one girl at the bar

saw that look of recognition

when they know just who you are

I seen you on the tv

I seen you on that show

you make the people crazy

and then you let them go

Before the show we calm them

we sympathise, we care

and the hostile folk we keep apart

'til the red light says 'on air'

did you see our leather lovers

all tied up to the chair

did you catch those child molesters

no one else goes there

What a show, the barry williams show

what a show,

dysfunctional excess

is all it took for my success

the greater pain that they endure

the more you know the show will scored

it's showtime

Got the reputation of a surgeon

'cos they cannot feel the cut

it looks so very simple

but it really is an art

they call our studio 'the hospital'

making money from the sick

we let people be themselves

there is no other trick

'My lover stole my girlfriend'

'I keep beating up my ex'

'I want to kill my neighbour'

'my daughter's selling sex'

'my s/m lover hurt me'

'my girl became a man'

'I love my daughter's rapist

'my life's gone down the pan'

What a show, the barry williams show

the barry williams show

dysfunctional excess

is all it took for my success

and when the punches start to fly

the ratings always read so high

it's showtime

'That girl has got no scruples'

not a wrinkle on her face

you would not believe the plot she conceived

so they'd let her take my place

well, no man is an island

no man is a sea

but this display of emotion

is all but drowning me

What a show, oh what a show

on my show, the barry williams show

it's my show

what a show

dysfunctional excess

is all it took for my success

The best tv you've ever seen

where people say the things that they really mean

I hear my name, I hear them roar

for the one more time I take the floor

just one more barry williams show

we're gonna take you where you want to go

it's showtime

Come on down

come on down