Genius Next Door

Some said the local lake had been enchanted

Others said it must have been the weather

The neighbors were trying to keep it quiet

But I swear that I could hear the laughter

So they jokingly nicknamed it 'The Porridge'

'cause overnight that lake had turned as thick as butter

But the local kids would still go swimming, drinking

Saying that to them it doesn't matter

If you just hold in your breath

Till you come back up in full

Hold in your breath

'till you thought it through, you fool

The genius next door was busing table

Wiping clean the ketchup botle labels

Getting high and muttering German fables

Didn't care as long as he was able

To strip his clothes off by the dumpster

At night while everyone was sleeping

And wade midway into that porridge

Just him and his secret he was keeping

If you just hold in your breath

Till you come back up in full

Hold in your breath

'till you thought it through, you foolish child

In the morning the film crews start arriving

With donuts, coffee and reporters

The kids are waking up hung over

The neighbors were starting up their cars

The garbage men were emptying the dumpsters

Atheists were praying full of sarcasm

And the genius next door was sleeping

Dreaming that the antidote is orgasm

If you just hold in your breath

Till you come back up in full

Hold in your breath

'till you thought it through, you fool