The Dancer

The tension is there in the hall as they stand

Soon the dancing will start

To square old Syd Watter's band

Anticipation is calm, mainly under the arm

As they wait for the dancing to start

Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow

There's a plumber from Hackney with a hooker from Bow

Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow

What once held up high I'm afraid now hangs down low

The costumes are strange just like the people inside

Some men four foot six tall, some women four foot six wide

Still the floor's reinforced for the onslaught to come

As they wait for the dancing to start

Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow

Yes they glide round the floor just like hippos in snow

Quick, quick, slow, slow, quick

Here's the Irish contestants, yes it's Doreen and Mick

They each have a number so it's easy to spot

Those who can tango and those who cannot

With their arms in the air and their legs wide apart

They prepare for the dancing to start

Good lord a couple out there are really having a go

He's turned upside down, their bodies now intertwined

What's their number, ay yes, sixty-nine

And Doris there who makes all her own clothes

Unfortunately it's Sydney who's wearing them

Formation teams in a line

Some full of hope and some full of wine

You know the reason why they're there more or less

And their idol's dress

And our solo tenor saxophonist has done for music

What Walt Disney has done for blue movies

Slow, slow, quick, quick, slow

Everyone's eyes are on the big silver cup

Come in number seven, 'cos your time is up

It must please one couple out there on their own

'Cos everyone else has gone home