Lyrics The Stranglers

The Stranglers

School Mam

A fine day for the classroom and the pupils are here

Timmy's got a headache but the others don't care

Sarah's got to stay behind and help with the drill

Teacher's got his eye on her moves in for the kill

Nobody can see or hear the things that they do

All the books are closed there must be something they do

Only teacher knows about the subjects they span span

Education's secondary - being a school mam

Oooey... teacher's doing fine as far as I can see

Being a school mam

Long holidays in the summer

Being a school mam

Free milk in your coffee breaks

Being a school mam

Government paid monthly salary cheques

Being a school mam

Noise is heard the principal investigates

She turns on all the cameras and it's too late

Catches both their pants down in a passion warm

Hasn't seen it happen since the day she was born

Reaches down for glasses that just can't be found

By the time she finds them - why they're down on the ground

Tossing and a'turning they've got feverish hands

Life can be so fluid when you're being a school mam

Oooey... teacher's doing fine as far as I can see

Being a school mam

Controlling promiscuity after hours

Being a school mam

Giving out detentions by the dozen

Being a school mam

Give her fifty lines (of speed)

Being a school mam

Sucking on her fingernails can't believe what she's seen

She seems so engrossed at what appears on the screen

Locks her door with trembling hands

Her heart's beating fast she pretends she's down there

On the floor in the class

Gives herself to teacher although he doesn't know

Works herself into a frenzied state and it shows

Sarah's almost at the top but try as she can

She can't reach her helter skelter down with the school mam

Just watch her go and help her try if you can

Use your twentieth century imagination if you've got any

Oooey... now she's at the top and teacher sets her free

Being a school mam

Disgusting behaviour

Being a school mam

All over the parquet flooring

Being a school mam

Let the flood gates open wide

Being a school mam

Now the principal collapses dead on the floor with

Contentment on her wrinkled old face ever more

She went out the very best way that an old woman can

She was where the action was down there with the school mam

Oooey... teacher never will discover who could see

Being a school mam

One and one make two if you are very lucky

Being a school mam

Two twos make four if I remember correctly

Being a school mam

Four fours make sixteen and sixteen's over age

Sixteen and sixteen make thirty-two, that's approaching middle age

Thirty-two and thirty-two make sixty-four, that's OAP land

Sixty-four and sixty-four make one-hundred-and-twenty-eight

One-hundred-and-twenty-eight divided by three

Let me pause for reflection for a second

But teacher

Three does not go into one-hundred-and-twentyeight exactly;

but it goes forty-two and a bit;

43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 49. 1, 49.2, 49.3, 49.4, 49.5, 49.6, 49.7,

49.8, 49.9

Fifty