Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

Other girls get called by their first names right away

They get cozy intimate

Do you know what I mean?

And nobody calls me, "Hey, baby doll", Miss Marmelstein

Or "Honey dear", Miss Marmelstein, or "Sweetie pie"

Miss Marmelstein

Even my first name would be preferable

Though it’s terrible, it might be better, it’s Yetta

Or perhaps my second name that’s Tessye

Spelled T E S S Y E

But no, no, it’s always Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

You’d think at least Miss M. they could try

Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

Oh, I could die

I’m a very willing secretary

Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate

Except for one disappointment one fly in the ointment

It’s great I mean simply great

But the aggravation of my situation

I might as well get it off my chest, it’s the drum appellation

Oh, pardon the big words I apply

But I was an English major at C.C.N.Y.

Drum appellation

With which I am persistently addressed

Persistently, perpetually, continually and inevitably addressed

Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic

Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein

Other girls get called by their nick names right away

Slightly naughty or risky

Do you know what I mean?

Nobody calls me,"Koo-chee-koo", Miss Marmelstein

Or "Boobala", Miss Marmelstein, or "Passion pie"

Even, "Hey there, babe" thought not respectable, ain’t so object able

It’s kind of crummy but chummy

Of course if I got married, that would do it

So, where’s the lucky guy?

Till then it still is Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

Everyday I get more and more fast

Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein, Miss Marmelstein

Oh, I could bust