The Vampire Club

Oh, the moon was full and the color of blood

The night the pirates came to the Vampire Club

Their leader was tall and snide and slim

He looked like a gay Captain Morgan

Well, he recognized a vampire from his school

And he did something that was most uncool

He said, "Hey everybody, see that fool in the cape?

His name's Bernie Weinstein and he's in the eighth grade!"

Fangs were flying, capes were torn

Hell hath no fury like a vampire scorned

The number one rule in this game

Never call one by his real name

Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed

By pointy boots in a rush

And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says

"It's just another night at the Vampire Club"

Missi lost a fang in the ladies room

And we all laughed and called her Snaggletooth

And Dee was mad 'cause he broke his cane

And he flushed his contacts down the drain

There was so much angst after the fight

Vlad and Akasha broke up that night

While some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo

That used to be "Father" you-know-who!

Fangs were flying, capes were torn

Hell hath no fury like a vampire scorned

The number one rule in this game

Never call one by his real name

Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed

By pointy boots in a rush

And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says

"It's just another night at the Vampire Club"

Well, it's hard to believe, but we're still around

And when we hang out, it's always upside down

Dressed in black from toe to head, singing

"Bela Lugosi's still undead!"

A gaggle of goths is a peaceful sight

We'd do anything to avoid a fight

But if you really want to see some gore and blood

Wait 'til the Ravers come to the Vampire Club

Fangs were flying, capes were torn

Hell hath no fury like a vampire scorned

The number one rule in this game

Never call one by his real name

Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed

By pointy boots in a rush

And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says

"It's just another night at the Vampire Club"