Funky Cold Medina

So...cold cooling at a ball

and im looking for some action

but like Mick Jagger said

I can't get no satisfaction

the girls are all around

but none of them wanna get with me

my threads are fresh and I'm looking def

yo, wassup with the l-o-c

the girls are all jocking

at the other end of the bar

having drinks with some no-name chump

when they know that I'm the star

so I got up and strolled over

to the other side of the cantina

I asked the guy, "why you so fly?"

he said "funky cold medina"

this brother told me a secret

on how to get more chicks

put a little medina in your glass

and the girls'll come real quick

it's better than any alcohol

or afrodesiac

a couple of sips of this love potion and she'll be on your lap

so I gave some to my dog, when he began to beg

and then he licked his bowl and he looked at me

and did the wild thing on my leg

he used to scratch and bite me

before he was much much meaner

but now all the poodles run to my house for the funky cold medina

you know what I'm saying

I got every dog in my neighborhood breaking down my door

I got Spuds McKenzie, Alex from Stroh's

they won't leave my dog alone with that medina thing

I went up to this girl

she said "Hi, my name Sheena"

I thought she'd be good to go with a little funk cold medina,

she said "I'd like a drink", I said "ok, I'll go get it"

and then a couple of sips, she cold licked her lips and I knew that she was

with it

so I took her to my crib

and everything went well as planned

but when she got undressed it was big old mess

Sheena was a man

so I threw him out

I don't fool around with no Oscar Meyer weiner

you must be sure that the girl is pure for the funky cold medina

you know,

ain't no plans with a man,

this is the 80s and I'm down the ladies,

break it down,

back in the saddle, looking for a little affection

I took a shot, I thought I'd test it on the Love Connection

the audience guests voted, and you know, they picked a winner

I took my date to the Hilton ford

media had some dinner

she had a few drinks, I'm thinking soon what I'd be getting,

but that's when she starting talking 'bout plans for a wedding,

I said "wait, slow down love, not so fast, I'll be seeing ya",

that's why I found you don't play around with the funky cold medina

you know what I'm saying

that medina's a monster y'all