Stan the Man

Born in nineteen thirty-five in Brooklyn, NY

Son of Anna and Phil

At nineteen years old he married my mother Judy

And immediately paid his first Bloomingdale's bill

Right away they started on a family

Three smart kids popped out of mom's tummy

But then one steamy* night dad forgot to wear his raincoat

Nine months later out came the dummy

But he took care of me

Oh, 'Stan the Man' was my hero

The coolest guy ever, I swear

He stayed up all night making me a clay volcano

That's how I won the science fair

He was 6'2, 200 and 50 lbs.

And as sweet as he was strong

He was also known to be pretty well endowed

But believe me he didn't pass that one along

His fav'rite singers were Leo Red Bone and Johny Cash

His favorite ball players were Cold Facts and Micky

His favorite restaurant was the state's delicatessen

His favorite movie was 'Little Nicky'

Sorry 'Godfather I and II'

Maybe next time

Yeah, 'Stan the Man' was my hero

With a golf swing that made me cry

He'd take their money and put it in his top dresser drawer

Then I'd steal it so I could get high...

But he ... beat that habit ... out of me

So dad,

Thanks for letting me stay up late to watch Johny Carson

Thanks for coaching all our games in Livingston Park

Thanks for telling me to always punch a kid in the face

If he made an anti-Semitic remark

Yeah, and don't worry 'bout mom

We'll always look after her

Me, Scott, Val, Liz, and the grandkids

And when Jacky and I have children of our own

We'll try to raise them just the way you did

So say 'hi' to both my grandmas and grandpas

Tell my dog, Meatball, I miss him so

But most important, take advantage of being in heaven

And go bang Marylin Monroe

Mom said it's cool ... just wear a raincoat

Oh, 'Stan the Man' was my hero

Still is and always will be

'Cause he didn't give too much crap about nothin'

Except loving his family Well 'Stan the Man' is gone*

But will always live on*