The Buffoon and the Valedictorian

"And now the buffoon's date at the drive-in with the school's

Valedictorian."

Valedictorian: "I really appreciate you're asking me out. Most people

Are intimidated by my high academic achievement."

Buffoon: "This movie sucks shit!"

Valedictorian: "Well, Ebel gave it thumbs up, but Ciscel thought it was

Too preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensly."

Buffoon: "Cathleen Turner has big fuckin' tits!"

Valedictorian: "Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her

Maternal biology may play a role in that. She looks fabulous for a woman

Her age, doesn't she?"

Buffoon: "I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's mouth and blew his fuckin'

Head off."

Valedictorian: "Well, in psychology we learned that it is not uncommon

For male adolescents to commit savage acts on animals as part of their

Maturing process."

Buffoon: "That girl in the fucking car in front of us, she gives

Everybody head."

Valedictorian: "Well, I guess she's strong for attention and she feels

Promiscuity is the only way to obtain it."

[Buffoon eating popcorn]

Buffoon: "This popcorn's fuckin' terrible. It tastes like someone jizzed

All over it."

[Buffoon continues to eat popcorn]

Valedictorian: "Well the amount of semen on this popcorn is certainly

Disturbing. Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by

The monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank."

Buffoon: "I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fuckin'

Mind!"

Valedictorian: "It's ironic that parts of one's body seems odd and

Unusual because you don't see them on a day to day basis.

Buffoon: "My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fuckin' day!"

Valedictorian: "It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more

Overpowering than another's. I wonder whether it is a function of the

Food digested or that person's internal metabolism."

Buffoon: "I'm gonna go get head from that fuckin' girl."

[Gets out of the car]

Valedictorian: "Well, I'm sorry to see the date come to such an abrubt

Conclusion."

[Buffoon walking away]

"I do appreciate the time you spent with me and look forward to a future

Rondevue."

Buffoon: "I like to piss in that guy's fuckin' gas tank!"

Valedictorian: "Bye bye! Have fun."

[Buffoon continues to walk away]