Fear of Bliss

My misery has enjoyed company

And although I have ached

I don't threaten anybody

Sometimes I feel more bigness than I've shared with you

Sometimes I wonder why I quell when I'm not required to

I've tried to be small I've tried to be stunted

I've tried roadblocks and all

My happy endings prevented

Sometimes I feel it's all just too big to be true

I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude

Fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude? )

I could be golden

I could be glowing

I could be freedom

But that could be boring

Sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true

I sabotage myself for fear of losing you

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude

Fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude? )

This talk of liberation makes me want to go lie down

Under the covers til the terror of the unknown is gone

I could be full

I could be thriving

I could be shining

Sounds isolating

Sometimes I feel this is too good to be true

I sabotage myself for fear of what my joy could do

Fear of bliss and fear of joyitude

Fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude? )