Hello Muddah Hello Fadduh

Hello muddah, hello faddah

Here I am camp Grenada

Camp is very entertaining

And they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining

I went hiking with Joe Spivey

He developed poison ivy

You remember Leonard Skinner

He got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner

All the counselors hate the waiters

And the lake has alligators

And the head coach wants no sissies

So he reads to us from something called Ulysses

Now I don't want this should scare ya

But my bunkmate has malaria

You remember Jeffery Hardy

They're about to organize a searching party

Take me home, oh muddah, faddah

Take me home, I hate Grenada

Don't leave me out

In the forest where I might get eaten by a bear

Take me home, I promise I will not make noise,

or mess the house with other boys

Oh please don't make me stay

I've been here one whole day

Dearest fadduh, darling muddah

How's my precious little bruddah

Let me come home if you miss me

I would even let Aunt Bertha hug and kiss me

Wait a minute, it's stopped hailing

Guys are swimming, guys are sailing

Playing baseball, gee that's bettah

Muddah, faddah kindly disregard this letter