Love Detective

We slept in this morning and she had to get ready in a hurry

No time for her usual attention to detail

And she ran out the door

Slamming it behind her

Leaving her keys swinging and jangling

I stayed in bed until I heard the downstairs door shut

Then peeked through the blinds

And as soon as she was out of sight

I went for the keys

She never tried to make a secret of the box or

The fact it was locked or even where she kept it

But as I said at the time

"If you've nothing to hide, why hide it?"

It's one of those wee red cashbox things

And she keeps it in a drawer by the bed

Under some pictures and books

Every key she has is on the same keyring

It took me a while to find the right one

I don't know

I suppose I've had my doubts for a while there's been

Hushed phone calls virtually every night

Her friends stop talking when I come in the room

They look at each other, and I don't know

It's just a feelin'

Anyway

I eventually found the right key and

It fitted perfectly in

Put the box on top of the bed and opened it up

There were these pictures of friends and ex's

Letters, postcards, doodles, nothing bad

And then I found some sort of sex diary

And I went to the latest entry

It explicitly detailed a recent adventure up the park

With a boy she said she had forgotten about

And it got worse as it went on

The dates never made sense

There were people I had never even heard of

Eventually I had to stop reading it

Because I started to feel sick

So I put everything back the way I found it

Shut the drawer and phoned you

See, I don't know what to do

I keep having

Fantasies about leaving her Dictaphone under the pillow

Or following her when she goes to work

I've been lying about where I'm going

Just in case I can bump into her