Where Pigs Fly

"Okay, so.. we brainiacs finally figured out that we live in multiple universes. Pff…a billion stars afar, but… really, what quantum mindfuck is that? Are you ready? Knock yourself out. Freaky…"

Darwin defended creation

Einstein travelled in time

Columbus discovered India

And Shakespeare couldn’t rhyme

O.J. pleaded guilty

Manson made parole

Reagan won five Oscars

And Meryl none at all

Elvis was a vegan

Dylan never got stoned

Alice was known as Vincent

And Bowie was just Jones

Michael looked like Michael

Keith drank only juice

Madonna was a virgin

And Jimi played the flute

Bond’s drink was stirred not shaken

Darth Vader had no son

Dorothy was still in Kansas

And Clint didn’t own a gun

Rocky had no sequels

Arnold never came back

ET dialed the wrong number

And Dolly had no rack.