I Live With It Every Day

On August first, nineteen eighty-one

I cycled to Scott's house with a BB gun

We were almost twelve, but we looked thirteen

He had baby-blue eyes that I shot him between

Nature provides for us a safety net

Whatever we do, we can never forget

I live with it every day

Even though we moved away

Our yesterdays are on a loop

A marathon of heartbreaking moments

The day they found me asleep on the floor

Engine running, closed garage door

Was the day the For Sale sign arrived on the lawn

Two weeks later and we were gone

Everyone falls through time and the funnel it makes

But I'm staying here inside my biggest mistake

I live with it every day

Even though we moved away

Our yesterdays are on a loop

A marathon of heartbreaking moments

I live with it every day

For every step I have to pay

The only thing that they can't take

The guilt that spirals in my wake

The love I put away

Like games that children play

The hearts you choose to break

Like cars dumped in the lake

The laugh lines on your face

The life I won't embrace

The cold house I won't leave

The guests I won't receive

I live with it every day

Even though we moved away

Our yesterdays are on a loop

A marathon of heartbreaking moments

I live with it every day

For every step I have to pay

The only thing that they can't take

The guilt that spirals in my wake