Call Me Maybe

I’m watching you in my yard, making my nipples rock hard

Wish you’d lose the bodyguard, so I could lick your face.

I love your black nappy hair, and those suits that you wear.

I’m wearing your underwear that I stole from your place.

I’m a total psycho

Spying through a window

I’ll kill that Michelle hoe

And take over as first lady

Hi, nice to meet you

I’m frigging crazy

When I kill your wife

You will marry me

Carly Obama will be my new name

I’ve been your stalker since your first campaign

Whoa I don’t know you

You're frigging crazy

You look like a dude

Your eyes are lazy

And you need to stop stalking me

Your pale skin and bangs are super creepy.

You might not realize it yet

But we’ll soon be having sex inside the Oval Office

You're totally insane

Maybe if I wash my car it will make your weenier hard.

Please stop or I’m gonna barf, you look worse than McCain.

Now I’m gonna fall off of this car's wet hood top

Oh my head hit a rock

OMG it’s really bloody

I snuck in your room while you were away

And stole your boxers

They smell good, don’t they?

Get those damn boxers out of my face

Or else I’ll gonna call the C.I.A.

No! Please I love you!

Just give me one taste.

Take one step closer and I’ll scream out rape

Wait! Who the hell is that guy playing the bass.

Oh that’s Osama

My death was a fake.

When people fake losing their life it makes me look bad.

How could you do that?

This makes me so so mad.

But secretly I’ve always liked your sexy beard and hat.

Will you be my man

Will you call me maybe?