South Of The Border

This is the story of Gad-About-Garth

He was the kind of man you see in every bar

An old school bling bling guy, shades on in the dark

"I'm here for the ladies" he'd say, "light up my smoke"

Workin' the dancefloor, he'd shake it about

Chains and jewellery shimmering, bling-a-ling, glimmering

Workin' the females, not a butt he didn't slap

Dropping one-liners, some chauvinist crap:

Hey Ba-by! Have you ever been south of the border?

Yo Shugah! What would you like for breakfast in the morning?

Garth's fellow-workers at the office were fed-up

"I swear if he tries som'n with me I'll smack his ass all the way back to gooberville!"

Especially the ladies who felt they had enough

"Damn straight" "Uh-huh!"

They had arranged for him a neat little surprise

The yearly party at the office was the night

They hired some really beautiful drag queens

To jump out of a cake and tease around the crowd "Ta-dah!"

Everyone was in on it but Garth who was quite drunk

He did his usual act, obnoxious and loud

He was workin' the dancefloor, he'd shake it about

Chains and jewellery shimmering, bling-a-ling, glimmering

Workin' the queens, not a crotch he did not tap

Dropping one-liners, some chauvinist crap:

Hey Ba-by! Have you ever been south of the border?

Yo Shugah! What would you like for breakfast in the morning?

In the morning Garth woke up next to a beefy lady

with no hair and bad breath

He was angry, but then at the same time he could not

make himself leave just yet

All these feelings, what are these?

Have I been Gad-About-Garth just to hide something that I am?

He remembered everything and felt a rush go through him as he

realised he'd made love to a man!

In a sense he felt fulfilled as he looked back on gettin' high with

Amanda last night (A man - duh!)

How could something he had always thought was filthy

growing up, suddenly seem so right?

'CAUSE HE WAS GAY!

This was the story of the Gay-Man-Garth

He is the kind of man you don't see in a bar

A truly pleasant guy who listens, understands

All women wants him, but he saves it for the gents