Heartland Feeling

I'm totally fucked up. I can barely speak.

I'm totally fucked up. They gave me so many drugs.

But, uh... I'm gonna be here...

Alright, what we're talkin about here is... is kind of a...

it's a heartland feeling... like, uh, Mellencamp, you know, kind of a Mellen feeling.

Ok, what you gotta get together is a... some... a heartland folk singer.

Uh, we're gonna need a real quick... uh, John Cougar Mellencamp, Bruce Spingsteen, Bob Seeger...

that type of feeling. A Mellen feeling.

You know, real, uh, powerful, approving music, uh... of a heartland quality, uh, just powerful straight-forward music.

And if you can't get just the right type of feeling, find someone who will pass and change them.

Old man johnson got his head in his hand

Makin' his way across state in a fiddlin' band

With hair all down in his eyes

And the microphone all covered with flies

When he gets done playin, goes back to his room

Climbs in the bed in his cowboy boots

And he picks up a magazine, turns on the TV

Lights a cigar as he's fallin asleep

Well he's only a person

Who doesn't know shit

Yeah, nothin happenin

That's about it

Yeah

Well little Rosanna came from Texarkana

Had fourteen dollars wrapped in a bandana

Came into town not lookin for much

Well she found a hound dog and she named him Dutch

She got a job at the arcade takin' quarters

But she was never too good at takin' orders

So one night she stopped givin out change

She kicked the boss in the shin and unplugged the games

She's only a person

Who doesn't know shit

Nothin' happenin

That's about it

Ooo ooo

Yeah yeah yeah

Sam got canned at the cannery

He punched out the clock that night

His knuckle was bleeding as he walked home

He was cold and he had a headache

Well his wife was cookin canned beans

He took out all the money out of his jeans

And he set it on fire in the kitchen sink

As his wife handed him a drink

He was only a person

Who didn't know shit

Nothin happenin

That's about it

Oh yeah

Ooo ooo ooo

Smiler was lookin' for handouts

Sleepin' in an abandoned lighthouse

Down at the mini-mall shakin his hat

Washin' windows with his bare hand

He found a sports car

With the keys in the ignition

It just seemed so easy

He took a joyride, drove it into a hedge

Came out with the steering wheel wrapped around his head

Well he's only a person

Who doesn't know shit

Nothin happenin

That's about it

Ooo ooo yeah

Well Janie was born in a small town

Everybody just standin around

They had bingo games and the raffle

Everybody chewin tobacco

Well she grew up kinda restless

All her boyfriends wanted to be dentists

Well, she got a job at the truck stop

And she got old fast and never did what she wanted

She's only a person

Who doesn't know shit

Nothin happenin

That's about it

Yea yeah yeah

Oh yeah

[etc.]