If Momma Was Married

If Momma was married, we'd live in a house

As private as private can be

Just Momma, three ducks, five canaries, a mouse

Two monkeys, one father, six turtles and me

If Momma was married

If Momma was married, I'd jump in the air

And give all my toe shoes to you

I'd get all those hair ribbons out of my hair

And once and for all, I'd get Momma out too

If Momma was married

Momma get out your white dress

You've done it before without much success

Momma, Godspeed and God bless

We're not keeping score, what's one more or less?

Oh, Momma, say yes

And waltz down the hall while you may

I'll gladly support you, I'll even escort you

And I'd gladly give you away

Oh, Momma, get married today

If Momma was married there wouldn't be anymore

'Let's me entertain you', 'Let me make you smile'

'I will do some kicks', 'I would do some tricks'

Sing out, Louise, smile, baby

Momma, please take our advice

We aren't The Lunts, I'm not Fanny Brice

Momma, we'll buy you the rice

If only this once you wouldn't think twice

It could be so nice if Momma got married to stay

But Momma gets married and married and married

And never gets carried away

Oh, Momma, oh, Momma, oh, Momma, get married today