Post Nuclear Talking Blues

I don’t have the magnetism of a national hero

I’m not desperate enough to

Carry ’round a bomb in a bag

And I hate to clean up behind my dog

He’s a pretty big guy and he eats like a hog

I never quite get that haircut they have in the window

I better give myself a talking to

I better work out what I’m going to do

Maybe get myself a wife

Better get myself a life

Instead of these post nuclear talking blues

When I go to the store

The express line gets derailed

I know that none of my batteries were included

I fall down every time I drink

I wash and all my whites turn pink

And I always come home with someone else’s pants

I better give myself a talking to

I better work out what I’m going to do

Maybe get myself a wife

Better get myself a life

Instead of these post nuclear talking blues

The rain won’t worry a drowning man

Until his feet are on dry land

He won’t even care if his best shoes are full of sand

Whenever my flight touches down

My bags are in a different town

And the customs men like to get intimate with me

I better give myself a talking to

I better work out what I’m going to do

Maybe get myself a wife

Better get myself a life

Instead of these post nuclear talking blues

And that’s all