The News From Your Bed

You were saving the date

But you woke up too late

Pulled the covers down over your head

You haven't left your front door

For a week maybe more

Tell me, hey, what's the news from your bed

You know your face is all covered with your birthday cake

That you're eating in the kitchen at home

Another banner year, a splendid day

Another inch or two that you've grown

But it's hard to celebrate on your own

There's a mouse in cupboard that nibbles your crumbs

And you talk to him every night

You say, “Hey, Mr. Whiskers, I'm bored and I'm numb

You can stay if you just treat me right.”

Just last year you were fortunate baby

And your friends circled around you in droves

Are they thinking of you? Maybe just maybe

But not a one has bothered to phone

Tell me where oh where did they go

Called a car an hour ago

You're gonna take yourself out

Despite the cold and snow

Did they forget about you

Are they in on it too?

You're sitting looking in the mirror

At your dancing shoes

When your family calls you make nice to them all

And assure them you're fine and you're great

Then you cry in the bath, cry so hard that you laugh

Then you watch television til late

Who do you need? Nobody.

You're lucky nobody's around

I can pour my own drinks

No thanks, Mister. Go on, and get out of town

And you're gorgeous in your evening gown.