Online

I work down at the pizza pit

And I drive and old Hundai

I still live with my mom and dad

I 5'3 and overweight

I'm a Sci-fi fantatic

Mild asthmatic

Never been to 2nd base

But there's a whole nother me

That you need to see

Go check out MySpace

Cause online I'm down in Hollywood

I'm 6'5 and I look damn good

I drive a Mazarati

I'm a black belt in Karate

And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious

I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious

Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online

So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom

And she fixes me a snack

I head down to my basement bedroom

And fire up the mac

In real life, the only time I

Ever even been to LA

Was when I got the chance with the marching band

To play tuba in the Rose Parade.

Online I live in Malibu

I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ

I'm single and I'm rich

And I got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious

I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious

Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online

Yeah I'm cooler online

When you got my kinda stats, it's hard to get a date

Let alone a real girlfriend

But I grow another foot

And I lose a bunch of weight everytime I log in

Online I'm out in Hollywood

I'm 6'5 and I look damn good

Even on a slow day, I can have a three way

Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online

Yeah I'm cooler online

I'm so much cooler online

Yeah I'm cooler online