When You Wasn't Famous

Cos this ain't a topic I'm particularly well versed

On girls going loopy in the front row showing you a thong

Cos for some reason I don't seem to grab much attention,

The other two get more offers than I'd care to mention

But, a girl did show me her boobs in Frog once

But she had the beer goggles on she didn't know what I was

Perhaps in time this totty will endeavour

Or maybe they'll never get past my face like chamois leather.

When you are famous boy, it gets really easy to get girls

It's all so easy that you get spoilt

But if you try to pull a bird, who is also famous too

Then it's just like when you wasn't famous

The closest I've been to pulling a celeb yet

A dream I had when I was 12, I shagged Alannis Morrisette

But seriously though don't even bother to rip it

If I had the chance again I probably wouldn't have gone through with it

Once I did bump into Natalie Imbruglia

She weren't really doing it for me, I didn't like her new hair

So all I'm saying is I have no set of expertise

You're probably listening to your CD thinking who the fuck is this?

When you get famous boy, it really easy to get girls

It's all so easy that you get spoilt

But if you try to pull a bird, who is also famous too

Then it's just like when you wasn't famous

Dede dededede dededede dededededededoo

Am I the only one who thinks this is out of control?

People getting famous and for sweet f-all

Whatever happened to talent, serving the community

Like Elton John or Sir Paul McCartney?

Cos nowadays, everybody wants to be

A someone much rather than a nobody

If I'm entirely honest it's the quiet life for me

I'm quite happy to still be flipping burgers in Fleet service Maccy D's