The Awful Truth

The awful truth concerning me

The creature-feature mystery

Is simply this

In the worst way

I wanna play

Mrs. Dracula

The challenge is tough

But I know

I've got the stuff

To be just spectacular

Can't you see it in lights?

Rosie really meets Dracula

So close your eyes and visualize

Me in a cape

And fangs in my head

Loving a guy who's mostly dead

I don't see him often

'Cause he sleeps in a coffin

Nothing could be zanier

Than our lives in Transylvania

We're fabulous one day

And rotten the next

Variety says

Those two must be hexed

At six in the morning

When my sweetie is yawning

I feed all the bats, a mush made of rats

Then I tidy the tomb

Cover all the trap doors

And wash any old blood stains off-a the floors

Don't you see

This juicy part was meant for me?

I got the looks

I got the style

I got bloodshot eyes

And a ghastly smile

It's the dream of my life

To play Dracula's wife

The reviews will all rave

This movie's a whopper

A super show-stopper

And no one can top her

Not Rosie

Dear Academy, take note

I should get the Oscar vote

If I don't, I'll bite your throat

Signin' off now

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