Johnny Jump Up

I'll tell you a story that happened to me

One day as I went down to Youghal by the sea

The sun it was high and the day it was warm

Says I an auld pint wouldn't do me no harm

I went in and I called for a bottle of stout

Says the barman I'm sorry the beer is sold out

Try whiskey or Paddy ten years in the wood

Says I I'll try cider I've heard that it's good

O never, o never, o never again

If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten

I fell to the floor and I couldn't get up

After drinking a pint of old Johnny Jump Up

After drinkin' a quart I went out to the yard

Where I met up with Brophy the big local guard

Come here to me boy don't you know I'm the law

So I jumped up on the counter and kissed him on the jaw

We fell to the floor and we couldn't get up

But it wasn't me kissed him twas the Johnny Jump Up

And the next thing I met down in Youghal by the sea

Was a poor man on crutches and says he to me

I'm afraid of me life I'll get hit by a car

Would you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar?

After drinkin' a pint of that cider so sweet

He threw down his crutches and danced round on his feet

A man died in the union by the name of McNab

They washed him and shaved him and laid him right out on the slab

And after the undertaker his measurements did take

His wife took him home to a very fine wake

It was about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high

The corpse he sat up and says he with a sigh

I can't get into heaven for they won't let me up

Till I bring them a drink of old Johnny Jump Up

O never, o never, o never again

If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten

For I fell to the floor and I couldn't get up

After drinking a pint of old Johnny Jump Up