Joxer Goes to Stuttgart

It was in the year of eighty-eight in the lovely month of June

When the gadflies were swarmin', dogs howlin' at the moon

With rosary beads and sandwiches for Stuttgart we began

Joxer packed his German phrase-book and jump leads for the van

Well, some of the lads had never been away from home before

'Twas the first time Whacker set his foot outside of Inchicore

Before we left for Europe we knew we'd need a plan

So we all agreed that Joxer was the man to drive the van

In Germany the Autobahn 'twas like the long mile road

There was every kind or car and van all carryin' the full load

Ford Transits and Hiace's and a ould Bedford from Tralee

With engine over heatin' from long haulin' duty-free

There were fans from Ballyfermont, Ballybough and Ballymun

On the journey of the lifetime and the crack was ninety-one

Joxer met a German's daughter on the banks of the river Rhine

And he told her she'd be welcome in Ballyfermont anytime

As soon as we got to Stuttgart we put the wagons in a ring

Sean og got out the banjo, Peter played the mandolin

There was fans there from everywhere attracted by the sound

At the first Fleagh Ceoil in Europe, Joxer passed the flagon round

But the session it ended when we finished all the stout

The air mattresses inflated and the sleepin' bags rolled

As one by one we fell asleep poor Joxer had a dream

He dreamt himself and Jack Charlton sat down to pick the team

Joxer dreamt they agreed on Packy Bonner straight away

And Morn, Whelan and McGrath were certainly to play

But tempers they began to rise, patience wearing thin

Jack wanted Cascarino, but Joxer wanted Quinn

Then the dream turned into a nightmare, Joxer stuck the head in Jack

Who wanted to bring Johnny Giles and Eamon Dunphy back

When the cock crew in the morning, it crew both loud and shrill

Joxer woke up in his sleepin' bag many miles from Arbour Hill

The next morning none of the experts gave us the slightest chance

They said the English team would lead us on a merry dance

With Union Jacks all them English fans for victory were set

Until Ray Houghton got the ball and stuck it in the net

What happened next was history, brought tears to many eyes

That day will be the highlight in many people's lives

Well Joxer climbed right over the top and the next time he was seen

Was arm and arm with Jack Charlton, singin' revenge for Skibbereen

Now Whacker's back in Inchicore, he's livin' with his mam

And Jack Charlton has been proclaimed an honorary Irish man

Do you remember the German's daughter on the banks of the river Rhine

Well didn't he show up in Ballyfermont last week and...