Simon Keeper

Jesus was a carpenter

He died nailed to a wooden cross

Irony oh irony

Upon me it's never lost

Gather 'round now people

I'm here to tell a tale

About a man who walks among you

A man you each know well

My name is Simon Keeper

I had a wife and three grown kids

A job in the towers cooking the books

For the shills that grease the skids

Irony oh irony

You are a bitter fruit to eat

Stripped of all your beauty

Your flesh is none too sweet

Now I ain't the most honest man

That ever worked a skim

I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar

And brother that was it

Fifty-four and a big black mark

Upon my resume

I found selling off what you don't own

Might earn you the time of day

Next it was a letter

From my darling one

"What's yours is mine, what's mine is mine"

Sealed with a hug and kiss

One by one my children

Closed their lives to me

Lessons learned on Daddy's knee

"Give no quarter to the weak"

Irony oh irony

You are the polar seed of truth

You grow upon the open plain

The faithful you uproot

Kicked around 'bout a year

Living hand to mouth

Then one day tryin' to bum a light

I felt my will give out

Sat right down on a corner

Started prayin' a little too loud

Left my troubles far behind

When I saw them empty their pockets out

Irony oh irony

You are a treacherous son of a bitch

Pretending not to care about

The heights you'll never reach

Now I won't start in preaching

About reaping what you sow

This is the story of a half-hearted man

Half honest as they go

But sit on down and rest a spell

I've got another tale to tell

About a lost young man in a faraway land

Whose life is just too easy to sell

Jesus was a carpenter

He died nailed to a wooden cross

Irony oh irony

Upon me it's never lost

Jesus was a carpenter

He died nailed to a wooden cross

Irony oh irony

Upon me it's never lost