True Revolutionaries

Look, Ma,

They're gonna fry Tim McVeigh

She said that nice guy

Who was on the cover of all of those magazines?

Why would they want to do a thing like that?

I said well, he killed all those people in Oklahoma

City

She said nonsense, people don't kill people

Car bombs kill people

And I said well, yeah, Ma

But they gotta do something with him

She said why don't they get Mike Tyson

To bite off both his ears?

And I say true revolutionaries

Never bomb buildings

True revolutionaries

Never bomb buildings

It attracts too much attention

They never bomb buildings

A little girl down my block

Was born with silicone in her breasts

Turned out her grandmother and her mother

Had both had the implants done

And evolution took care of it this time around

And I wondered what it is about

So many women with big breasts

Make them look so sad

And I thought, well, maybe it has to do with the

weight,

The burden they're asked to carry in the world

To feed it, to be the object of its desires

And I wondered what burdens the rest of us are carrying

all the time

And I couldn't help thinking

True revolutionaries

Never bomb buildings

True revolutionareis

Never bomb buildings

It attracts too much attention

They never bomb buildings

And I decided to go out for a walk

And do nothing except

Look everybody I see in the eyes

And not be the first to avert my eyes

No matter what

And I was planning to be gone for ten minutes

But things started happening

And I didn't return for two years

By which time I was the heavyweight champion of the

world

And the expectant father of sixteen children

By thirteen different women

I was in a fishing village in coastal Spain

It was Our Lady of Abortion Sunday afternoon

All the pregnant ladies in their first trimester

Filed before the priest to receive the blessing of

"Try again sometime, try again"

The old barber had dyed his hair green for the occasion

And pierced his nipples

And was riding his skateboard to the statue of Conan

O'Brien

Where he was doing backflips for the little kids

Who threw coins given to them by their parents

A visiting lecturer

Achingly handsome

Had just finished giving a

"How to build bombs in your basement" seminar in the

park

All the young girls put their notebooks away dreamily

And put dandelions in their hair

The chimpanzee who had managed to type out Hamlet three

years before

Was sitting in the third floor office of the driver's

license building

Typing out zoning ordinances

Typing out learner's permits

Bored and lonely

Pee Wee Herman was sitting in the central square in the

grass

Naked and masturbating

While all the townspeople moved to him slowly

And kissed him softly

And sung lullabies in the grass

And in Berkeley

And in Greenwich Village

And in Paris

And in Scottsbluff, Nebraska

No one sits around funky little coffee shops anymore

Talking revolution

They get a Starbucks to go

They go back to their basketball games

Where they see who can jump higher

Who can jam

Who can take it to the rack

And they all wear baseball caps

'Cept they don't say Yankees or Dodgers or Cardinals

anymore

They say Nike; Reebok; Adidas

Because the pro players don't play for teams anymore

They play for shoe companies

And the kids aren't fooled

They're just biding their time

Waiting for the millennium

When all the computers will crash

Because the best scientists in the world

Forgot to make them read zero

True revolutionaries

Never bomb buildings

True revolutionaries

Never bomb buildings

It attracts too much attention

They never bomb buildings

And I was sitting there with a headful of dark thoughts

Like I sometimes get

And suddenly everything cleared

And I realized that the only purpose to revolution

Is to be able to love who you want

How you want

When you want

Where you want

So I took off all my clothes

Stole a boat

Rowed out to the middle of a lake

And I jumped in

And I looked back at you and said

Come on! Get wet!

True revolutionaries

Never bomb buildings

True revolutionaries

Never bomb buildings

It attracts too much attention

They never bomb buildings

They never bomb buildings

They never bomb buildings