According To Plan

It's a beautiful day

It's a rather nice day

A day for a glorious wedding

A rehearsal my dear, to be perfectly clear

A rehearsal for a glorious wedding

Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know

That nothing unexpected interferes with the show

And that's why every thing

Every last little thing

Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go

According to plan

Our son will be married

According to plan

Our family carried

Elevated to the heights of society

To the costume balls

In the hallowed halls

Rubbing elbows with the finest

And having crumpets with her highness

We'll be there, we'll be seen

Having tea with the queen

Forget everything

That we've ever, ever been

It's a terrible day

Now don't be that way

It's a terrible day for a wedding

It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in

That has led to this ominous wedding

How could our family have come to this?

To marry off our daughter to the nouveau riche

Their so common

So coarse

Oh it couldn't be worse

Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree

They could be land rich, bankrupt, aristocracy

Without a penny to their name

Just like you, and me

Oh dear

And that's why everything

Every last little thing

Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go

According to plan

Our daughter will wed

According to plan

Our family led

From the depths of deepest poverty

To the noble realm

Of our ancestors

And who'd have guessed in a million years?

That our daughter with a face

Of an otter in disgrace

Would provide our tickets to a rightful place

Marriage is a partnership

A little tit for tat

You'd think a lifetime watching us

Might have taught her that

Might have taught her that

Everything must be perfect

Everything must be perfect

Everything must be perfect perfect

That's why everything

Every last little thing

Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go