Merry Fucking Christmas

Old St. Nick’s got bourbon breath

It’s so cold you could catch your death

A cop sold me some crystal meth

It’s a Merry Fucking Christmas

Everything’s so Chrstmassy

The streets are twinkling with frozen pee

My priest just sat on Santa’s knee

It’s a Merry Fucking Christmas

All the kids go to bed each night

To dream what Santa brings em

Unless their Jewish or Muslim or some other gyp religon

Crappy toys flying off the shelves

Midgets dressed up to look like elves

Spread good cheer or burn in hell

It’s a Merry Fucking Christmas

All the kids go to bed each night

to dream what Santa brings em

Unless their Jewish or Muslim or some other gyp

religion

Cracklin fires to keep me warm

and my collection of Asian porn

Cradle my bells and work my horns

It’s a keep on trucking

Last year sucking

Midget chucking

Slap the puck in

How much wood could a woodchuck chucken

Merry Fucking Christmas

Ho, ho, ho – Shut up