Your Life's A Cartoon

I said your life's a cartoon

You woke up, threw on a striped yellow tie

Threw down a cup of coffee, kissed the wifey goodbye

Leave the office each day around eleven o'clock

Then you drive, stop, park, walk about three blocks

To a peep-show booth and meet a girl named Ruth

Wasn't sweating the shame, didn't use your real name

Booked a hotel room, suite paid until June

Get home and tell wifey that you're not in the mood

But then the game got stale and your face grew pale

When you came home early that day feeling ill

Stepped through the door, dropped your brief and your beeper

Your wife is getting down with all your housekeepers

You was mesmerised, how could you be surprised?

Only gave it to her Christmas and the fourth of July

Oh, you had it going on, with ease you really worked it

Let's review the scene just to see if it was worth it:

Okay, last fall's when you started it all

October to when you caught your wife bending over

Broke up your home now you're on your own

You lost your dignity; your self-respect is gone

I got to laugh though, cuz, cause you thought you was slick

At least she got it free, but you? Youse a big trick

You helped the pimps get paid, took a shot at catching AIDS

And got your wife turned out by the butler and the maid

Your life's a cartoon

Try to take a nod on the bus, put your ear in a blob

Left by a moisturiser overdoing slob

Nice and wet down your neck with the jheri curl drip

Couldn't see out the window cause the drip was so thick

Walking through the mall with the house shoe lag

Greasy doorag, sour jheri curl bag

Loud talking and walking jerking your neck

It's the first of the month, you got your welfare check

Storekeeper johns, they're rubbing their palms

Cause they know you never read the words in the Koran

Where it tells you don't be jealous ‘bout what you don't have

Support the brother who opens up a shop on the Ave.

You want slack cause you're black but if it ain't dirt cheap

You're quick to say I'm finna go cross the skreet

And that's another thing, man, the way you're talking is played

You got to know the language if you wanna get paid

Oh, you got a few ends, you might be driving a Benz

But it's the credit man who wins out in the end

He's got your car loan, interest on your mother's home

He's got your daddy paying off shit he don't even own

That's what I'm talking ‘bout, man, what's the deal

But just listen, I ain't dissing, this shit is for real

Get yourself a nose job, yeah that's down

Trying to look like a white man, you brainwashed clown

You're up on European fashion and Japanese cars

But if Wong pulled his market off the block you'd starve

I said your life's a cartoon