I Got Stoned And Missed It

I was sitting in my basement.

I just rolled myself a taste

Of something green and gold and glorious

To get me through the day.

Then my friend yelled through the transom

"Grab your coat and get your hat son,

There's a nut down on the corner,

Givin' dollar bills away"

But I laid around a bit

Then I had another hit.

Then I rolled myself a bomber.

Then I thought about my mama.

Then I fooled around, played around

jacked around a while and then

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned and it rolled right by.

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned... oh me... oh my.

It took seven months of urgin'

Just to get that local virgin

With the sweet face

Up to my place

To fool around a bit.

Next day she woke up rosy,

And she snuggled up so cozy.

When she asked me how I liked it,

Lord it hurts me to admit,

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned and it rolled right by.

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned... oh me... oh my.

I'm makin' no excuses

For the many things I uses

Just to sweeten up my relationships

And brighten up my day.

When my earthly race is over

And I'm ready for the clover

And they ask me how my life has been

I guess I'll have to say,

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned and it rolled right by.

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned and I missed it.

I got stoned... oh me... oh my