Loaded Gun In The Closet

I got a loaded gun in the closet

And another one in the dresser drawer

Just in case the one in the closet didn't make a big enough hole.

She had his breakfast ready every morning

And his lunch in a box sitting there by the kitchen door.

She'd make sure he had everything he needed

And hug his neck and tell him how much she loved him

And it was beautiful.

You should have seen it.

Then she'd make herself a pot of coffee,

Just the way she liked it

And sit down and enjoy the quiet of the house all alone,

But, by two-o-clock or so every afternoon

The quiet would start getting to her and she’d watch

The clock until he came back home.

And she understood just what he needed

When he came home every evening

Was a couple of beers and a couple of minutes

To cuss about his day.

So she'd fix him a nice hot supper

While he ranted and raved about one thing or the other.

And she never once told him what he was going on about

Didn't add up to a thing.

And she never touched that gun in the closet.

It was his and it was there just because he wanted it to be.

She didn't get out much, so she never knew just what it was

That made him so afraid.

Most women today would say she was a disgrace.

Most men would say she wasn't much to look at.

And they all would say she'd be a lot better off

If she cared a little more about what they all think.

She could have a life of her own if she had a little pride,

Some silicone implants, and another man on the side.

But she's got a loaded gun in the closet.

And it's there anytime she wants it.

And her one and only man knows it and

That's why he put it there in the first place.