Goon Squad

Mother, Father, I'm here in the zoo

I can't come home 'cause I've grown up too soon

I got my sentence

I got my command

They said they'd make me major if I met all their demands

I could be a corp'ral into corp'ral punishment

Or the gen'ral manager of a large establishment

They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod

But I never thought they'd put me in the

Goon squad

They've come to look you over and they're giving you the eye

Goon squad

They want you to come out to play

You'd better say goodbye

Some grow just like their dads

And some grow up too tall

Some go drinking with the lads

Some don't grow up at all

And you must find the proper place

For everything you see

But you'll never get to make a lampshade out of me

I could join a chain of males or be the missing (a) link

Looking for a lucky girl to put me in the pink

They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod

But I never thought they'd put me in the

Good squad ....

Mother, Father, I'm doing so well

I'm making such progress now that you can hardly tell

I fit in a little dedication

With one eye on the clock

They caught you under medication

You could be in for a shock

Thinking up the alibis that ev'ryone's forgotten

Just another mummy's boy gone to rotten

They pat some good boys on the back and put some to the rod

But I never thought they'd put me in the

Goon squad....