Worthless Thing

How many times can you jump out of the cupboard

Before someone gets suspicious or someone gets discovered

You can live forever in a split second of fame

Come on down the price is right what's your name

While a crocodile makes good shoes and a dog may change his coat

I can't change what's written on your face tonight and I quote

Oh I wish you could see

Quite how much you could mean to me

You worthless thing

If you were ten feet taller and almost handsome

I might pay this king's ransom

You worthless thing

They commit blue murder along Union Avenue

Then they sell you souvenir matches

Nightclubs full of grave robbers from Memphis, Tennessee

And Las Vegas body snatchers

And he's carrying a warning can't you see how his eyes glint

Keep your bloody hands off my life your affectionate fingerprint

Oh I wish you could see

Quite how much you could mean to me

You worthless thing

If you were ten feet taller and almost handsome

I might pay this king's ransom

You worthless thing

All the cars and pills and girls who tore his shirt to tatters

Do you know how tall he was 'cos that is all that really matters?

Do you know his mother's last name do you think that he's divine?

You've seen the film you've read the book

you're drinking vintage Elvis Presley wine

Bored out of your tiny mind while life is twice as large

They'll cut her down to size on television

She's available and beautiful, but with more time to devote

They're going to take this cable now and stick it down your throat

So this is an obituary which should be right and fitting

For every clockwork cat and conceivable kitten

Oh I wish you could see

Quite how much you could mean to me

You worthless thing

If you were ten feet taller and almost handsome

I might pay this king's ransom

You worthless thing