He's Your Uncle, Not Your Dad

He's your uncle, not your dad

He's the best friend you ever had

So, come on, dig, dig, dig in until it hurts

Just remember Pearl Harbor

The Alamos and nothing could be worse

He's your favorite relative

And he needs a lot to live

So just bring, bring, bring everything until you bleed

And he'll send back what he don't need

If you're not in form, ten-forty's your salvation

By deprivation of temptation

Dark and blondes I hear are not deductible

Oh, say, can you see if there's anything left for me?

When he calls you as he may do

Don't be frightened, red white and blue

Just be thankful you don't live in Leningrad

He's your uncle, not your dad

If you're honest, you don't have to shake and shiver

The food is lousy up the river

It's give and take and he does all the taking

Oh, say, can you see if there's anything left for me?

Life has two things you can't subtract

Death and taxes to be exact

So just pa-pa-patriotically declare

He's your uncle, he's your uncle, not your dad