David Copperfield vs Harry Houdini

[Harry Houdini]

You've never seen a body quite the same as that of Houdini!

Slippery like linguine, sneaking out of teeny-weeny

Little spaces small enough to fit your talent, David

You're not a challenge, David

Your biggest endowment's your bank account balances, baby!

So abracadabra, you billowy bitch

Man, you look like a pirate on a Las Vegas strip

I'm swallowing needles and spitting out evil

You couldn't escape from a flash paper bag

I'm badder with patter and matter of fact

You can't match all my skill if you sawed me in half

[David Copperfield]

When I was a child, you were a god to me

I had to do what you do

But now you're like a Chinese wall to me

Bitch, I'll walk right through you

This ain't the magic that you're used to

I float a rose, hands free, like it's Bluetooth

My grand illusions make your parlor tricks irrelevant

The foot of Lady Liberty is stomping on your elephant

You failed at making movies and you failed at making kids

You should stick to what you're good at and lock them lips

(Ohh!) Here's a tidbit that might drive you nuts

I bought half of your shit, and I keep it locked up

Got the slim fingers that were built for sleights

You're a chunky stuntman; dressed in tights

You talk shit about your hero; that ain't right

But you can look up to me now; I know you like heights

[Harry Houdini]

Ah! Your hack of a Bob Saget-y act is embarrassing

You're the saddest thing to happen to Magic since The Gathering

I'm hanging by my ankles, on a crane I dangle

I got lox on my bagel that you couldn't handle

Smash your mirrors while your flying wires tangle

You can't hide shame with a camera angle

[Criss Angel]

Did somebody say Angel?

[Harry Houdini]

No

[Criss Angel]

Oh

[David Copperfield]

See what they'd be watching if it wasn't for me?

I remind the world that magic is supposed to make you happy

While you waste time proving everybody wrong

I'm backstage getting my supermodel groove on

You should relax, take a private trip

To my private island, suck my private dick

I summon up a little Halloween brunch

Deep-fried sucker with a side of punch