Jim Henson vs Stan Lee

Stan Lee:

Greetings, heroes! Stan Lee's here to battle!

It's the mind behind The Hulk against the geek beneath the Fraggles!

I'm just your friendly neighborhood writer man with a secret identity of a super MC

Whose raps are as dark as my shades; leave you squeaking like "MEMEMEMEME!"

You're in trouble now, Jimmy, you dirty old hippie!

Your beard needs a little bit of snikt, damn skippy!

Heck, that face on your neck ain't sexy!

You're one part Sweetums, the other part Skeksis!

Step up to Lee and you get your butt kicked!

Your muppet Snuffleupagus stuff is bupkis!

I broke Ferrigno and the Comics Code

So keep your frog and pig show moving right along down the road!

Jim Henson:

I'm glad you got that out. That anger can clutter your mind.

But you're a creative man, Stanley (yeah), so let's just leave it behind.

Cause I can sense your tension once the verbal fencing starts commencing

There is no defense against the dents Jim Henson is dispensing.

And I'm clenching all your strings like you're a puppet in suspension

Call your superhero friends in. Yeah, cause you're gonna need

Avenging.

Let me mention, I'm impressed by all the vision that it took

For you to sign your name on all of Jack Kirby's comic books.

Stan Lee:

Nice try, frogman, but Jack was a friend of mine! (THWIP!)

That was a low blow! He did his own Thing, and now you've made it clobbering time! (SPLONK!)

Oh, you taught children to count and spell,

Then you taught your own kids how to drop your wife harder then you flopped on SNL!

I'm telling you, Henson, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry! I'm a marvel of a party pooper

I'll snap your turtleneck like a Doozer stick and put you out to

pasture like Mr. Hooper!

I'm sorry, Jim. Sometimes I can't control my rage.

Honestly, there's a lot of things that you can't control at my age.

But the truth is I miss ya, you were gone too soon.

You were like watching a beautiful sunset...at noon.

Jim Henson:

(Aw) Stan, don't be sad. We all have a time to go. (Yeah...)

Most of the Internet thought that you died 12 years ago.

But the Four will always be Fantastic. The Hulk will always be

Incredible.

The words you wove within the hearts of heroes are indelible.

There is no beef between us, we're two minds of the same kind

And there is no man who could ever muck with what we've left behind.

Walt Disney:

M-I-C! I rock the mic properly!

K-E-Y! Turning profits, I've got the key!

I'm the Juggernaut of stacking knots unstoppably;

The Disneyland-lord of your intellectual property!

So get back to work, that's my dime you're wasting!

I didn't buy you for billions so you could play around debating!

(Ha!) You belong to Disney, which means you stay busy

Cranking out magic and assembly line whimsy!

Artists begging me to stop; I won't let 'em!

Labor conditions in my shop? I don't sweat 'em!

I'm powerful enough to make a mouse gigantic!

With only 3 circles I dominate the planet!

Clearly there's nobody near me!

I'm owning this battle! In fact, I own this whole series!

So hop on my Steamboat, boys, but don't rock it!

I'll put a smile on your face and green in your pocket!

You'll be safe and insured when you're under my employ!

Now look at it! Gaze upon my empire of joy!