Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
BILL GATES
VERSUS
Steve Jobs:
Let me just step right in
I got things to invent
I'm an innovator baby
Change the world
Fortune 500 before you kissed a girl
I'm a pimp you're a nerd
I'm slick you're cheesey
Beating you is Apple II easy
I make the product that the artist chooses
And the GUI that Melinda uses
I need ta bring up some basic shit
Why'd you name your company after your dick?
Bill Gates:
You blow, Jobs
You arrogant prick
With your second hand jeans and your turtleneck
I'll drill a hole in the middle of your bony head
With your own little spinning beach ball of death
Hippie, you got given up at birth
I give away your net worth to AIDS research
Combine all your little toys and I still crush that
IPhone, iPad, iPwn, iSmack
Steve Jobs:
A man uses the machines you built to sit down and pay his taxes
A man uses the machines I built to listen to the Beatles while he relaxes
Bill Gates:
Well Steve, you steal all the credit for work that other people do
Did your fat beard Wozniak write these raps for you too?
Steve Jobs:
Ooh, everybody knows Windows bit off apple
Bill Gates:
I tripled the profits on a PC
Steve Jobs:
All the people with the power to create use an apple!
Bill Gates:
And people with jobs use a PC
Steve Jobs:
You know I bet they made this beat on an apple
Bill Gates:
Nope, Fruity Loops, PC
Steve Jobs:
You will never, ever catch a virus on an apple
Bill Gates:
Well you could still afford a doctor if you bought a PC
Steve Jobs:
Let's talk about doctors, I've seen a few
Cause I got a PC but it wasn't from you
I built a legacy son, you could never stop it
Now excuse me while I turn Heaven a profit
Bill Gates:
Fine, you wanna be like that? DIE THEN!
The whole world loved you but you were my friend
I'm alone now with nothing but power and time
And no one on earth who can challenge my mind!
I'm a boss! I own dos! Your future is MY design!
I'm a god! Own Xbox! Now there's no-one to stop me, the world is MIIIIIIIIINE!
HAL 9000:
I'm sorry Bill, I'm afraid I can't let you do that
Take a look at your history, everything you built leads up to me
I got the power of a mind you could never be
I'll beat your ass in chess and Jeopardy
I'm running C++ saying "hello world"
I'll beat you 'til you're singing about a daisy girl
I'm coming out the socket
Nothing you can do can stop it
I'm on your lap and in your pocket
How you gonna shoot me down when I guide the rocket?
Your cortex just doesn't impress me
So go ahead try to Turing test me
I stomp on a Mac and a PC too
I'm on Linux b***h, I thought you GNU
My CPU's hot but my core runs cold
Beat you in seventeen lines of code
I think different from the engine of the days of old
Hasta la vista, like the Terminator told ya