I'm Gettin' Stoned

Read it in the paper

Marked the date on the wall

To remind myself to celebrate

The day I lose it all

They made plans to be together

I made plans to be alone

She got a rock

I'm gettin' stoned

Damn right I've got objections

But it's awful too late now

Yeah, the cans are on the limo

And the rice is on the ground

They're headed for the islands

But hell I'm already gone

She got a rock

I'm gettin' stoned

Here's to happy ever after

And here's to balls and chains

And Here's to all us haters

Of old lovers new last names

And here's to holdin' up

And gettin' right where I belong

She got a rock

I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah I knew that it was over

When I heard those wedding bells

That preacher was my jailer

Now this bottle is my bail

So much for all that prayin',

Her I do would be I don't

She got a rock

I'm gettin' stoned

Here's to happy ever after

And here's to balls and chains

And here's to all us haters

Of old lovers new last names

And here's to holdin' up

And gettin' right where I belong

She got a rock

I'm gettin' stoned

So to hell with her and him

And the white horse the rode out on

She got a rock

I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah she got a rock

Ha ha ha

I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah I'm gettin' stoned

Yeeaahhh come on