Awaiting My Death

Windows of shattered dreams.

Laid out before me.

My broken reflection hauntingly stares back,

As once again I pick up the pieces of my mind.

Rebuilding myself again.

And I know what is done.

The smaller pieces lost.

They used to be large,

But now they are gone.

I cannot find my hope, my joy or my life,

Just empty splinters embedded in my mind.

Causing me pain, I grimace in awe at the overwhelming pain.

Caused by what I've lost, by what has been destroyed.

My scars start to bleed.

From my wounds of sorrow,

I watch the blood run.

A release of my self-hate,

And still the blood flows:

Scarred all over my body.

With each scar comes a memory of pain.

Though it's hard to tell now, they all look the same.

Awaiting the day when my blood is no more,

Maybe then the pain will be gone.

I await my death with both relief and with fear,

I sense that my shattered mind knows it is near.

[Lyrics - Greg. 9/1993]