Ramblin Rover

Oh, there're sober men and plenty,

and drunkards barely twenty,

There are men of over ninety

who have never yet kissed a girl.

But give me a ramblin' rover,

from Orkney down to Dover.

We will roam the country over

and together we'll face the world.

There's many that feign enjoyment

from merciless employment,

Their ambition was this deployment

from the minute they left the school.

And they save and scrape and ponder

while the rest go out and squander,

See the world and rove and wander

and are happier as a rule.

I have roamed through all the nations

in delight of all creations,

And enjoyed a wee sensation

where the company, it was kind.

And when barkin' was no pleasure,

I've drunk another measure

To the good friends that were treasure

for they always around were mine.

If you're bent with arthritis,

your bowels have got Colitis,

You're gallopin' with balacitis

and you're thinkin' it's time you died,

If you been a man of action,

though you're lying there in traction,

You will get some satisfaction

thinkin', "Jesus, at least I tried."