Drunkard's Lament

Call me a cab and I'll tip the undertaker

That fool couldn't tell a real stiff from a faker

Well I ain't no fool, I just play one on TV

Cause misery loves company

That's why everyone loves me

Now, buy me a drink and I'll tell you all a story

About a bastard who traded in treasure for glory

Well the treasure was true love, the bastard he was me

Cause misery loves company

That's why everyone loves me

Well, I've been a rich man

I've been a poor man

Inside a Saturday night

I've done the works

And there's one thing I know

You can't win if it ain't a fair fight

I ain't seen the pastor since Sunday bloody morning

All the girls in the choir are in labor or mourning

Take one look in my eyes, I think you'll all agree

Cause misery loves company

And that's why everyone loves me

I've done every shit job

Handed out nose jobs

Made a few friends in the tombs

But I've found that in most cases

Fixing the the rat race is

Better than pushing a broom

Now, who shall I marry the junky or the jailer?

Your choices are few when they know you're a failure

But there's one thing that everyone in the bar agrees

That misery loves company

And that's why everyone loves me