Wizard Needs Food, Badly

I know that you're probably mad at me.

I've come to expect that.

You know that you'll never have all of me,

you've come to resent that.

You say "tomato", I say "video games",

you're acting so solemn.

You'll take the precious remote control from me.

Do I sound like Gollum?

(It's) not that I'm escaping,

you charm me like the flame does moths,

it's just that you'd prefer me docile,

like a narcoleptic sloth.

The wizard needs food badly,

the Voltron can't be incomplete.

The things I love, you hate so madly,

I must not go down in defeat.

In the hunter-gatherer societies,

I'd bring home the bacon.

Public thought says men should try and be tame,

stirred but not shaken.

I say "baseball" then you start to cry,

I'm sorry I grieve you.

I think a motorcycle's a good way to die,

this must bereave you.

I know that you try so hard,

and I'm not saying it's a sin,

it's just that they don't feel my pain,

in Vogue or Cosmopolitan.

And I'm sure you have your reasons,

but listen to me please...

I want the G.I. Joe with the Kung-Fu action grip.

I want Nintendo with the extra-graphics-microchip.

Tackle football with rocks, and sticks, and knives, and pain...

I want a truck with the four wheel drive train.

You'd rather see me get good at bookkeepping,

I could clean house in the time that I'm not sleeping.

I live to serve you, and I don't want to be rude,

but you should see that the wizard needs food.