The Big Ol' Bug Is the New Baby Now
"We have three dogs that love to chew stuff up so we're
always gettin' them some toys and stuffed animals and
stuff so they can destroy them. And usually whatever we
get is shred to pieces within a couple of days. And one
day I noticed that this stuffed animal that we had
gotten, they had had it for about a week, had remained
relatively unharmed, a little bit dirty, but it really
didn't have any damage. So I was kind of watchin' them
for the next couple of days, and I noticed that for
some weird reason, this little stuffed animal seemed
like they all liked it for some weird reason, it was
special to them, not only did they not chew it up, they
sort of made it seem like it was their baby. They
treated as though it was their own baby, so I thought,
"this is weird." How strange this is. Of all the toys
and things that we get for them, for some weird reason,
this one, it wasn't really any different from the rest,
this one is picked to be special. So there you go.. So
some time passed and one day I noticed that this box of
"big plastic insects," that I had been keeping on a
shelf in the bathroom, had some how fallen down and
unfortunately it looked as though the dogs had already
chewed up most of the stuff in it, the big giant
spiders, ants, and cockroaches and stuff that were in
it. And as I walked around the house picking up the
shredded pieces of these plastic insects I came across
the... baby... you know, their stuffed animal baby! And
there it was just torn to shreds, like everything else
- all the other stuff, finally this one was torn to
shreds. So later on I came across one of the giant
grasshoppers that for some reason hadn't been chewed up
at all, not even as much as a small tooth mark. So I
watch.. and it occurs to me.. that for some reason
their affections have changed.. and I can plainly see
that, instead of the stuffed animal, the big ol' bug is
the new baby... now."
The big ol' bug is the new baby now
The big ol' bug is the new baby now