Cosmik Debris

The mystery man came over

And he said I'm outta sight!

He said for a nominal service charge

I could reach nirvana tonight

If I was ready, willing and able

To pay him his regular fee

He would drop all the rest of

His pressing affairs and devote

His attention to me

But I said look here brother

Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?

Now who you jiving with that cosmik debris?

Look here brother, don't waste your time on me

The mystery man got nervous

And he fidget around a bit

He reached in the pocket of his mystery robe

And he whipped out a shaving kit

Now I thought it was a razor

And a can of foaming goo

But he told me right then when the top popped open

There was nothin' his box won't do

With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo

He said you might not believe this, little fella

But it'll cure your asthma too

And I said look here brother

Who you jiving with that cosmik debris?

Now what kind of a guru are you, anyway?

Look here brother, don't waste your time on me

(don't waste your time)

I've got troubles of my own, I said

And you can't help me out

So, take your meditations and your preparations

And ram it up your snout!

But I got the crystal ball, he said

And held it to the ligh

So I snatched it, all away from him

And I showed him how to do it right

I wrapped a newspaper 'round my head

So I looked like I was deep

I said some mumbo-jumbo, then

I told him he was going to sleep

I robbed his rings and pocketwatch

And everything else I found

I had that sucker hypnotized

He couldn't even make a sound

I proceeded to tell him his future, then

As long as he was hanging around

I said the price of meat has just gone up

And your old lady has just gone down!

And I said look here brother-who you

Jiving with that cosmik debris?

Now is that a real poncho or is that a sears poncho?

Don't you know, you could make more money as a butcher?

So, don't waste your time on me

Don't waste it, don't waste your time on me