Dumb All Over

Whoever we are

Wherever we're from

We shoulda noticed by now

Our behavior is dumb

And if our chances

Expect to improve

It's gonna take a lot more

Than tryin' to remove

The other race

Or the other whatever

From the face

Of the planet altogether

They call it THE EARTH

Which is a dumb kinda name

But they named it right

'Cause we behave the same...

We are dumb all over

Dumb all over,

Yes we are

Dumb all over,

Near'n far

Dumb all over

Black 'n white

People, we is not wrapped tight

Nurds on the left

Nurds on the right

Religious fanatics

On the air every night

Sayin' the Bible

Tells the story

Makes the details

Sound real gory

'Bout what to do

If the geeks over there

Don't believe in the book

We got over here

You can't run a race

Without no feet

'N pretty soon

There won't be no street

For dummies to jog on

Or doggies to dog on

Religious fanatics

Can make it be all gone

(I mean it won't blow up

'N disappear

It'll just look ugly

For a thousand years...)

You can't run a country

By a book of religion

Not by a heap

Or a lump or a smidgeon

Of foolish rules

Of ancient date

Designed to make

You all feel great

While you fold, spindle

And mutilate

Those unbelievers

From a neighboring state

TO ARMS! TO ARMS!

Hooray! That's great

Two legs ain't bad

Unless there's a crate

They ship the parts

To mama in

For souvenirs: two ears (Get down!)

Not his, not hers (but what the hey?)

The Good Book says:

"It's gotta be that way!"

But their book says:

"REVENGE THE CRUSADES. . .

With whips 'n chains

'N hand grenades. . ."

TWO ARMS? TWO ARMS?

Have another and another

Our Cod says:

"There ain't no other!"

Our Cod says

"It's all okay!"

Our God says "This is the way!"

It says in the book:

"Burn 'n destroy. ..

'N repent, 'n redeem

'N revenge, 'n deploy

'N rumble thee forth

To the land of the unbelieving scum on the other side

'Cause they don't go for what's in the book

'N that makes 'em BAD

So verily we must choppeth them up

And stompeth them down

Or rent a nice French bomb

To poof them out of existence

While leaving their real estate just where we need it

To use again

For temples in which to praise OURGOD

("Cause he can really take care of business!")

And when his humble TV servant

With humble white hair

And humble glasses

And a nice brown suit

And maybe a blonde wife who takes phone calls

Tells us our God says

It's okay to do this stuff

Then we gotta do it,

'Cause if we don't do it,

We ain't gwine up to hebbin!

(Depending on which book you're using at the time...

Can't use theirs. . .it don't work . . .it's all lies...Gotta use mine...)

Ain't that right?

That's what they say

Every night...

Everyday. ..

Hey, we can't really be dumb

If we're just following

God's Orders

Hey, let's get serious...

God knows what he's doin'

He wrote this book here

An'the book says:

He made us all to be just like Him,"

so...

If we're dumb...

Then God is dumb...

(An' maybe even a little ugly on the side)