Nanook Rubs It

Well, right about that time people

A fur-trapper who was strictly from commercial

Had the unmitigated audacity to jump up from behind my igloo peekaboo

And he started into whippin' on my favorite baby seal

With a lead-filled snowshoe

I said, with a

Lead-Filled

With a lead filled snowshoe

He said, peekaboo

I said, with a

Lead-Filled

With a lead filled snowshoe

He said, peekaboo

He went right upside the head of my favorite baby seal

He went whap with a lead-filled snowshoe, and

He hit him on the nose and hit him on the fin, and he

That got me just about as evil as an eskimo boy can be. so I bent down

And I reached down, and I scooped down and I gathered up a generous

Mitten-ful of the deadly yellow snow

The deadly yellow snow, from right there where the huskies go!

Whereupon I proceeded to take that mittenful of the deadly yellow snow

Crystals and rub it all into his beady little eyes with a vigorous

Circular motion hitherto unknown to the people of this area, but destined

To take the place of the mudshark in your mythology

Here it goes,the circular motion, now rub it!

(Here fido)

And then

In a fit of anger

I pounced

And I pounced again

Great googly moogly!

I jumped up and down on the chest of the him

I injured

The fur trapper

Well he was very upset, as you can understand

And rightly so, because the

Deadly yellow snow crystals had

Deprived him of his

Sight

And he stood up, and he looked around, and he said

I can't see

I can't see

Oh, woe is me

I can't see

Well.....you know

I can't see

Nothin'

He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my right eye

He took a dog-doo snow cone and stuffed it in my other eye

And the husky wee-wee

I mean the doggie wee-wee

Has blinded me

And I can't see

Temporarily

Well, the fur-trapper stood there, with his arms outstretched across the

Frozen white wasteland, trying to figure out what he was going to do about

His deflicted eyes. and it was at that precise moment that he remembered

And ancient eskimo legend, wherein it is written (on whatever it is that

They write it on up there) that if anything bad ever happens to your eyes

As the result of some sort of conflict with anyone named

Nanook,

The only way you can get it fixed up is to go

Trudging across the tundra

Mile after mile

Trudging across the tundra

Right down to the parish of st. alphonzo