Change My Past

It never goes away

I'm always looking back

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change

Change my past

Feeling a type of way bout the past that I run from

Night and day fade to black when I'm undone

I feel lost constantly exhausted

Double crossed still haunted by the monster I once was

And when the suns gone and there's no escape

I feel the darkness take shape and show face

There's no place I never feel safe

There's no change hope fades and I'll never be okay

Never be the same but I always feel close to

Losing everything it's almost like I'm supposed to

I chose you let you in and gave you a home to

Become a part of me but now I'm looking to ghost you

I hoped you disappear but your attached

I painted the mirror I tried breaking the glass

I see my face in the cracks a refraction I'm abstract

Can't run from the past but I'm keeping my bags packed

It never goes away

I'm always looking back

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change

Change my past

I'll never be ok

I'm seconds from collapse

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change

Change my past

Gone is the vessel now there's nothing inside me

And God and the devil are the voices behind me

But they lie designing blue skies

While they guide me to a pasture where nobody will find me

Down a road that I'm hoping to steer through

To a home I thought left in the rear view

To a weird room nothing to peer through

Doors shut curtains drawn nobody can hear you

All this time I've been holding myself hostage

My hands tied and a blindfolded conscience

Brainwashed and overly cautious

I'm talking to myself in the cell that we're locked in

A situation I'm dying for some relief

Negotiating the terms for my release

I find keys to set myself free then history repeats

Nothing can save me

It never goes away

I'm always looking back

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change

Change my past

I'll never be ok

I'm seconds from collapse

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change

Change my past

And I would be nothing without you

And all that you made me (all that you made me)

And I would be nothing without you

And how you destroy me (you always destroy me)

It never goes away

I'm always looking back

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change

Change my past

I'll never be ok

I'm seconds from collapse

Am I ever gonna change, ever gonna change

Change my past