Misery

I dropped. I devoted myself, blindly, for one's life. A

well-aware choice, knowing this free fall was right. I

dropped. I sacrificed everything at stake, my own

wellness. I fell apart. Broken and weak, I held, and

stood still, ripping through my fragile ground. And I

held, knowing I was losing the most of me. When

everything is gray and your guts scream misery. When you

can't handle looking at others. You can't deal with their

happiness. It's so dark here. I barely recognize my own

substance. These blood-red eyes, this grim expression

that can't be my own. I lost track. Time is holding me in

this confused state, playing a silly game. Has it been

weeks? The clock, has been stopping its course between

minutes. Stretching every moment to make it last, to make

it hurt. I devoted myself, blindly, for one's life. I lay

down waiting for my body to lose consciousness. These

endless days, these permanent nights steal all my heart,

steal all my soul. I'm burning within. I haven't seen the

sun in days. I crawl around this odd place that has no

silence, that never sleeps. In this place that never

leaves your mind at peace. The fragility, my existence.

Trusting my own lies; believing it will all be fine. It's

so dark in here. I haven't left my bed in days. Curled

up, cold, in a shut in. I entered a slumber, a deep

sleep. Can I hang in until tomorrow ?